The Chirping

Like any good story, this one begins with an American cockroach. No, no…an actual American cockroach of the insect variety, the extravagant and speedy bug who makes its home in the moistly dark crevices of the southeast. And, like any good story, it begins as our heroine makes ready for departure to faraway lands.

The thing about cockroaches is, if you see one, you have got to presume there are thousands. This was my attitude the day before I pulled up stakes to leave Florida for all points west. A day that had been reserved for mental prep became a ten hour frenzy of emptying my life into a tent and cleaning my RAV4 (The Ramper) from stem to stern. It got the works, including vacuuming, disinfecting, and a car wash, with every effort to discourage the critters without harming them. (Yeah, I know – but I made a vow) Peppermint spray and elbow grease seemed to have done the trick and for several days there were no further sightings.

Four days later I stopped in a casino parking lot in Louisiana for the night. Oddly enough, there were  hundreds of little starlings everywhere. So, when I was woken up at 4 a.m.ish to a clear and present chirping, an instant dread settled over me. I just knew there was a bird somewhere in my car. But, like any storied heroine, I went through a period of denial and pulled out of the parking lot tout de suite, thinking the bird was most likely beneath my car and I’d left it behind.

I didn’t hear the chirping again until – I did. It was coming from the driver’s side air vent and it was so near it seemed the bird was just within hand’s reach - quite a startling sound when cruising route 10 at 75 miles an hour. Somewhere west of Houston I pulled off at a gas station, opened my doors and popped the hood, gloves on. Serious about finding this little bird, I even engaged the help of someone at the pumps who scoped my engine with me. No bird. Called my bro who said if it was a bird I would most likely hear more than chirping.

So, I began researching the mating call of the American cockroach. Was it possible this sound was a festering nest of bugs chirping at odd hours? Yes. Probable? Hmmmm….

For two days, I heard the chirping. It chirped when the car was off. It chirped when the car was running. It chirped at 3 a.m. It chirped in the middle of the day. It went hours without chirping, and then it would chirp chirp chirp.  

Certain it was not an insect at this point, I googled how long it would take a baby bird to die without food or water.

I was now at a primitive camping spot in New Mexico where I had decided to spend a few days. My grief for the bird pervaded everything and when, after 48 hours, the chirping stopped entirely, I have to admit I spent some hours in all out sobbing. I thought to myself I would never have come on this trip if I knew a little bird would die under my watch. I thought, what could I have done? And, I also waited…for the smell to come.

Four days passed, no chirping. No smell.

So, off I toodled to another primitive camping area outside Roswell, New Mexico, thinking the gods were with me, my soul singing songs of gratitude.

And, yes, you guessed it. Chirp. And again, no rhyme or rhythm to its frequency or timing.

So. Not a bird.

This is the point where you should show concern for our heroine’s incapacity to employ rational thought in a critical situation. My inability to distinguish a mechanical chirping from a bird is a tad alarming. By this point, my powers of Googling had also completely let me down and it is only through my brother’s diligence that he found a single article that led us to believe it could be something battery or alarm box related. 

Oh! I can tell you now it became immediately clear that the chirping sounded like a smoke detector when the batteries are dying.

Um.

My first stop to remedy this problem was AutoZone in Roswell. These folks were terrific. They didn’t just leave it at testing the battery. They disconnected the battery, cleaned the corrosion (the probable culprit), and spent a good half hour listening to my absurd story.

This was three days ago. So far, I haven’t heard a peep.

Or a chirp.

Nor have I seen an American cockroach. At least not in my car, anyway.

*****

Post script: An alternative title to this article was “Should’ve called Rob.” In an effort not to bother too many folks, I didn’t call Rob – the only one in the family who works in the car service industry. So, yeah, there’s that.

And finally… To allay further concerns as to our heroine’s state of mind, she knows to take her car to the dealer and get this issue officially put to nest.

---

Travel gear highlight: Campros Screen House

10’ x 10’ Screen House for outdoor living

This screenhouse really surprised me in a good way. Took less than 10 minutes to set up by myself and so affordable. I really thought I'd be sending it back because the price was so good. It was a wonderful surprise and provides a much needed outdoor living space in the mosquitoey heat of the south.  

For those fellow wanderers who have signed up for my blog – thank you! Check out Gear I Love for links to products I use and honest reviews.

Be sure to subscribe to the blog here. Please note: Amazon affiliate links are links for which I may get a small percentage if used to purchase something. Thank you! :)